The title of this post may be familiar to some of you. It’s one stage in one explanation of the steps a person goes through when learning something new: Unconscious incompetence, conscious incompetence, conscious competence, unconscious competence. Basically, you start out not knowing that you suck, then you are aware you suck, then you get better but have to focus on doing well, then eventually you do well without thinking about it.
I feel I’m somewhere between the middle two… At conscious incompetence, but dipping my toes into conscious competence.
But as the time goes by (Very soon will be my two year anniversary at the salon I work at – How has this much time gone by?!), I don’t feel like I’m finding my niche in the world of hair.
I don’t think I want to be a platform artist, or do competitions, or do photoshoots even. I don’t feel that the hair I do in the salon is enough – it would be fine if I had something else to do to keep my creativity and energy going. I’d like to be an educator, but I need a lot more experience first, and that generally means I need backing from a company, unless the industry changes a lot in the next few years.
So where I’m at right now is some sort of limbo of non-direction. Can’t move forward because I don’t know what direction forward is, and I can’t go back because there’s no “back” to go to, and I can’t stay here because I’ll slowly decay.
This is a pessimistic blog post. lol
On the bright side, I’m getting busier and busier at work – and more work means I’m getting better. I still fail at some things, do poorly at some things, and do well at some things… I try to focus on the ratio, not the individual successes and failures, because otherwise I could do 1000 amazing heads of hair and feel like a failure because I botched one up or did one that wasn’t entirely on the mark.
Also, more of my clientele are becoming aware of my online presence on CrossCheck, and with any bit of clicking, here too… I’ve got a couple clients/work related associations on my Facebook too. It feels a little strange, I don’t know if it’s a good idea or whether I should have stuck to my guns and remained 100% secretive about everything I do online. I guess I’ll find out – this might just be a learning experience not to get too comfortable.