My First Stalker! 1 comment


I now have my first stalker, as a hair stylist! Yay….?

This person hounded me for services and opinions even after we had closed the salon, shared personal information, wanted to trade contact info (thankfully my card has none of my personal info!), and announced their undying devotion to me and plans to keep seeing me as often as possible and follow me wherever I go when I leave school.

Including other cities if I move.

o.O

Where did my stalker come from? Well, let’s take the long route to answering that question. If I were to analyze my clientele, it would reveal something like the following.

Guy’s Clientele:

  • 60% LOL’s (Little Old Ladies)
  • 20% BBC (Baby Boomer Chicks)
  • 10% Little Kids
  • 5% Hotties (Yeah that’s right, I said hotties. I went there!)
  • 5% Guys

The LOL’s are too fickle to be stalkers, because the ones that frequent the school have been going to the school for years, and all seem to want to try new students every time they come. Hoping to find the one student that is as good as the last student they saw (who they talk about all through their service), even though next time they come, they will see another student and talk about the one they were with this time throughout the service.

The BBC’s are too tired to be stalkers. They all have careers, or family taking up 110% of their time. They only come in for haircuts every 3 months because they have other priorities to worry about in their day to day life.

The Little Kids could actually be stalkers I think… I’ve seen a few become infatuated with one of the girls in my class who is really “Cool”. But they aren’t infatuated with me, because they haven’t decided if I’m approachable or not. (I have an unintentionally intimidating presence to children)

The Hotties are too busy posing and posturing to be stalkers. They also have to maintain their world view, which puts them at the top of the pyramid, and everyone else on the steps below – if they were to stalk someone it would destroy their pyramid of unnecessarily high self esteem by placing someone higher on it than themselves. (And that’s just not done, folks!)

Which leaves the Guys. Guys have the free time to be stalkers, guys know they’re not at the top of the pyramid, so there is no self-esteem-construct conflict. Guys often aren’t used to a salon environment, and as soon as they come in they’re looking for cues that what they are doing and saying is correct. They’re pointedly seeking approval and validation from you as soon as you start the consultation. And they put themselves in a submissive relationship with you, which is really interesting from a psychological standpoint… Considering that I am male myself, and in any other interaction the subtext would be us jockeying for dominance, or a cold war style mutually-assured-destruction bluffing scenario wherein we both acknowledge the other’s machismo but act as though our own could potentially be superior. But I digress.

So which group do you think my stalker came from?

Well, a client is a client I guess. Just gotta make sure he never gets ahold of my phone number or email.


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One thought on “My First Stalker!

  • Katie Rainer

    Yikes from the title I wasn’t sure what to expect here lol.

    Could take it as a compliment when you get attention but there’s a right kind and a wrong kind of course 🙂